As a woman I am pretty good at piling myself up with all of my shortcomings. Now as a mom I feel like all of these things are quadrupled.
I work too much and don’t stay home with my baby. I don’t work enough and am not contributing to our finances enough. I don’t fit back into my pre-baby jeans. I feel guilty if I spend too much time on myself. I don’t have enough followers. I spend too much time trying to build my internet presence up. This blog will never become a viable source of income for my family. I am never good enough.
No matter what I do there are days that I feel like no matter what I do, I am doing to wrong thing. And I beat myself up about it.
We never give ourselves a break- and while we sometimes face these criticisms from other, more often than not we bring them upon ourselves. We are our own worst enemies. We set these ideals of what our lives should look like, only put the flattering pictures on the internet, create a facade of what we want our lives to be. Then, we realize that this is not the reality of our everyday lives and we despise our levels because of it.
I struggle with this daily. I want so much, to be so much and to have a life where money isn’t a worry and we have a place that we can call our own. Right now though, that is not my reality. Where we mess up is when we take what we are working for and change it from a goal into a reminder of what we have yet to achieve.
We as moms have to stop this. It is not beneficial to ourselves, our babies, or our relationships. We have to learn to take what we view as “failures” and change them into goals.
During one of my wallowing sessions I looked down to see my son smiling and giggling at me and it hit me that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that we’re living with Grandma and Grandpa until we save for a house. He doesn’t care that we aren’t taking our extra money and spending it on new clothes and gadgets. All he knows is whether or not Mom and Dad are happy. All he knows is that he is loved. So, does everything else really matter?
What matters is being present for these moments of joy. What matters is showing my son that hard work pays off. What matters is teaching him that you don’t have to have material possessions to be happy. What matters is instilling in him that joy and happiness is a state of mind that we have to sometimes fight for. What matters is love.
Cut yourself a break. Stop labeling yourself as a failure. These images that we portray on Instagram and Facebook- stop trying to act like you have it all together and instead be authentic, believe or not that is far more powerful. Remember you are enough.
We are enough.